There are lots of different types of discipline. There is the discipline of learning a new subject. There is the discipline of children. There is the discipline of maintaining a habit. However, the discipline I want to focus on in this post is what are called spiritual disciplines.
Not that this is a surprise to me, but it seems that the staff I work with at Park Chapel continually challenges me to look deeper and think a little more about who I am and who God wants me to be. This past week we talked in a meeting about what the catalysts are that move people through their spiritual journey from not knowing Jesus to being fully devoted to him. As I sat in that meeting I did what I often do which is introspect and think... "Where am I on this journey and what are my catalysts?".
As I have spent time thinking about this over the last few days I realized that I had already starting implementing one of the disciplines that could be a catalyst in my faith which is journaling. I have done this in the past, but something seems different this time. It's not a check list as much as I truly need a place to process my thoughts and feelings, whether they are raw emotions or a new idea. Either way it has been a great exercise and one I look forward to and find rest in.
Another discipline that was shared as a catalyst was a mentor. I have been amazed at Ethan lately as he has sought out people in his circle to mentor him. I have watched him be invigorated and challenged by these people and know that this is something that would be a benefit to me right now. So I have made that a prayer focus that God would reveal to me who he might have for me to learn from and be discipled by.
So the real reason for my post is just a curiosity that I thought might be a little too deep for a general facebook post. I am wanting to hear about the spiritual disciplines or practices you cherish in your own life. They may be disciplines or practices that have helped you grow in your faith in the past or they may be something you are doing right now. I am also curious if anyone can pinpoint catalysts they have had in their on faith walk.
These questions are really for my own personal reflection and nothing else, but if you have taken the time to read this I hope you might consider commenting and sharing the answer to one or all of these questions.
If you are not aware of what spiritual disciplines are they range from reading the Bible, prayer, journaling, solitude, meditating on scripture etc. If my questions only stirred up your own questions feel free to ask those as well and I will do my best to answer them.
Hunting Unique Rabbits
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Leadership Lessons
When you start a blog you have all the best intentions to post on a regular basis. Well as I am sure you will see... that didn't happen with this blog and our new family.
Life has changed so much over the last few months as I am sure all you seasoned parents knew would happen, but I have to say it has been a joy and continual adventure. What I want to focus on tonight is the idea of leadership and how being a parent seems to have a growing affect in our leadership efforts.
As a brand new mom when people would tell me to follow my mothering instincts I would constantly think to myself... "I don't have mothering instincts... that's why I am losing it right now!". However, a few months into this adventure with Sam and Ethan and that phrase makes perfect sense to me. When we have 3 nights of my normally happy baby being cranky, not sleeping in his bed but instead sleeping on the couch with no end in sight, I quickly jump into my instinctual mother mode. First I pray... God I can't handle this please help me know what to do and then I think through the list of things to try and hope that one will work. Ethan will ask me what we should do and I find myself giving an answer. It might not be the right answer, but as a co-worker reminds us... something worth doing is worth doing poorly. So we jump into whatever our best guess is and attempt to lead Sam out of whatever the current phase is. So far we figure it out within a week (sometimes with the wisdom of others... which we greatly appreciate.)
To many this may not seem like a lesson in leadership, but to me it is every time. First as I head to work where it is my life's calling to work with people, I have become very comfortable with my prayer... "God I can't handle this, please help me know what to do."Then I wait, listen and I have to be ready to try something different and be okay with doing things poorly. For someone who has always claimed to give 110% doing things poorly is a challenge, but what I am learning from Sam is that there is always tomorrow and at the end of the road we will see the value of each decision both good and bad. It's just a chance to learn and get better.
The other thing that I am beginning to learn is that in leadership you aren't always going to be popular, but it is always important to explain why you do what you do. Although Sam is little I am already seeing moments when I won't be popular. We are learning the word no and I see it in his little eyes that he doesn't like me telling him not to do something. However, I know that what is best for him is more important than what I am feeling. Leadership seems to have a similar tone... just because it is easy to do something doesn't mean it's the best leadership decision.
As Sam continues to grow I am certain I will continue to learn what it means to be a leader. What I know to be more true than anything else is that God is using Sam to show me what he wants to work on in me. This mommy wants to be a great leader for my son and only by letting God teach me can that happen, so this is to say that I look forward to the ways that God continues to 'nique up on me as I learn his lessons in leadership through parenting.
Hunting Unique Rabbits!
Gayle
p.s. Sam is 7 1/2 months old... I must have blinked when that rabbit passed by. :-)
Life has changed so much over the last few months as I am sure all you seasoned parents knew would happen, but I have to say it has been a joy and continual adventure. What I want to focus on tonight is the idea of leadership and how being a parent seems to have a growing affect in our leadership efforts.
As a brand new mom when people would tell me to follow my mothering instincts I would constantly think to myself... "I don't have mothering instincts... that's why I am losing it right now!". However, a few months into this adventure with Sam and Ethan and that phrase makes perfect sense to me. When we have 3 nights of my normally happy baby being cranky, not sleeping in his bed but instead sleeping on the couch with no end in sight, I quickly jump into my instinctual mother mode. First I pray... God I can't handle this please help me know what to do and then I think through the list of things to try and hope that one will work. Ethan will ask me what we should do and I find myself giving an answer. It might not be the right answer, but as a co-worker reminds us... something worth doing is worth doing poorly. So we jump into whatever our best guess is and attempt to lead Sam out of whatever the current phase is. So far we figure it out within a week (sometimes with the wisdom of others... which we greatly appreciate.)
To many this may not seem like a lesson in leadership, but to me it is every time. First as I head to work where it is my life's calling to work with people, I have become very comfortable with my prayer... "God I can't handle this, please help me know what to do."Then I wait, listen and I have to be ready to try something different and be okay with doing things poorly. For someone who has always claimed to give 110% doing things poorly is a challenge, but what I am learning from Sam is that there is always tomorrow and at the end of the road we will see the value of each decision both good and bad. It's just a chance to learn and get better.
The other thing that I am beginning to learn is that in leadership you aren't always going to be popular, but it is always important to explain why you do what you do. Although Sam is little I am already seeing moments when I won't be popular. We are learning the word no and I see it in his little eyes that he doesn't like me telling him not to do something. However, I know that what is best for him is more important than what I am feeling. Leadership seems to have a similar tone... just because it is easy to do something doesn't mean it's the best leadership decision.
As Sam continues to grow I am certain I will continue to learn what it means to be a leader. What I know to be more true than anything else is that God is using Sam to show me what he wants to work on in me. This mommy wants to be a great leader for my son and only by letting God teach me can that happen, so this is to say that I look forward to the ways that God continues to 'nique up on me as I learn his lessons in leadership through parenting.
Hunting Unique Rabbits!
Gayle
p.s. Sam is 7 1/2 months old... I must have blinked when that rabbit passed by. :-)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Mysterious Ways
So we have all heard it said that the Lord works in mysterious ways. Well I have believed that all my life and have always enjoyed stories of how God intervenes for people in a way that only he can. I also believe sometimes it just takes opening your eyes to see God in life's little circumstances.
After my last blog post Sam got sick the next day. Most moms wouldn't be thankful for that, but it was exactly what I needed to cut myself some slack and just enjoy my boy. So we took the next two days, stayed as close to our routine as possible and cuddled a ton.
The next week Ethan got iced into the house with us which also was a moment of grace from God. By having him home a couple days it allowed me the opportunity to have a partner to figure things out. So we were able to start putting Sam down for naps and bedtime awake and he has started putting himself to sleep. This seems to have helped him sleep through the night as well, since he can now put himself back to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night.
It is amazing the joy I have found in just relaxing and enjoying Sam. I have been so blessed to finally find a sense of balance between the books and my instincts. So now I can count my blessings instead of worrying all the time.
So the things I love about being a mommy right now... Sam's favorite songs are Jesus Loves Me and Deep and Wide, we always get big smiles from both of them. He is rolling over, smiling and sleeping through the night! I love cuddling and sleeping on the couch with him at least once a day and just watching him grow and change from day to day.
I know this post might be a little disjointed, but the moral of the story is that God has been abundantly faithful to me and us through the tough transitions of welcoming Sam to our family. So I want to give him the glory and enjoy these moments while they last!
Hunting Unique Rabbits,
Gayle
After my last blog post Sam got sick the next day. Most moms wouldn't be thankful for that, but it was exactly what I needed to cut myself some slack and just enjoy my boy. So we took the next two days, stayed as close to our routine as possible and cuddled a ton.
The next week Ethan got iced into the house with us which also was a moment of grace from God. By having him home a couple days it allowed me the opportunity to have a partner to figure things out. So we were able to start putting Sam down for naps and bedtime awake and he has started putting himself to sleep. This seems to have helped him sleep through the night as well, since he can now put himself back to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night.
It is amazing the joy I have found in just relaxing and enjoying Sam. I have been so blessed to finally find a sense of balance between the books and my instincts. So now I can count my blessings instead of worrying all the time.
So the things I love about being a mommy right now... Sam's favorite songs are Jesus Loves Me and Deep and Wide, we always get big smiles from both of them. He is rolling over, smiling and sleeping through the night! I love cuddling and sleeping on the couch with him at least once a day and just watching him grow and change from day to day.
I know this post might be a little disjointed, but the moral of the story is that God has been abundantly faithful to me and us through the tough transitions of welcoming Sam to our family. So I want to give him the glory and enjoy these moments while they last!
Hunting Unique Rabbits,
Gayle
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
To Be or Not to Be .... or not?
I feel like it probably doesn't make much since, but being a mom (much to my surprise) conflicts with all my natural tendencies. At the church right now the staff is learning about themselves and how we can better work together through a book called StrengthFinders 2.0. One of my "strengths" is responsibility and seemed to tell me the first time I read my description that I was not "made" to be a parent. This is just part of the description:
"It’s very likely that you conduct yourself in a proper, ethical, legal, and upright manner to avoid feeling you have done something wrong. You truly regret making a mistake, violating a rule, breaking a trust, or producing poor results. You set high standards for yourself in various areas of your life. "
As I read this I added the words "as a parent" to the end of each sentence. These are all very true statements of the way my mind works consistently. I want to do everything "right" when it comes to being Sam's mom. Being "right" is difficult though because I am trying so hard to trust my instincts and stand by the things that I still believe are true, but feel overwhelmed that my philosophies are wrong and are going to somehow hurt Sam.
Case in point:
Crying - I have always believed and still believe that it doesn't hurt him to cry, however all the "right" people say that at this age I am keeping him from building attachment and feeling safe. So what do I do?
Naps and Waketime - I put him down after feeding him, having some playtime and he wakes right back up. So I lay him on his play mat while I finish doing whatever needs to be done, sending an email, getting ready, cleaning etc. Now I have a couple things weighing on me.
First, he's not following the Babywise "infant management plan" (that we have great testimonies to working) that says it will help him sleep through the night and be a pleasant and happy kid. Yet in reality he is a month old and will consistently sleep around 5 1/2 hrs at a time at night. That seems good to me. So again what do I do?
Second, when he is awake, I have the voice in the back of my head saying that I should be interacting with him because he is awake. I need to be talking to him, reading to him, singing to him or playing with him, but as mentioned above, he doesn't always nap consistently, so if I hope to get things done around the house I may have to do them while he is awake. Again the right people make me feel as if he is not going to develop language skills if it is quiet in the house or I fail to interact with him enough. So I wonder is the fact that I have music on in the back ground good enough or do I need to do more?
So here I am wanting to be a good mom and get it all right, but everyday I am battling the 2 angels (my instincts and "the experts") on my shoulders, so to speak, fighting over what I "should" be doing. I haven't entirely decided which side is winning or will win, but this is where I am at today in this journey of parenting.
Hunting Unique Rabbits
Gayle
"It’s very likely that you conduct yourself in a proper, ethical, legal, and upright manner to avoid feeling you have done something wrong. You truly regret making a mistake, violating a rule, breaking a trust, or producing poor results. You set high standards for yourself in various areas of your life. "
As I read this I added the words "as a parent" to the end of each sentence. These are all very true statements of the way my mind works consistently. I want to do everything "right" when it comes to being Sam's mom. Being "right" is difficult though because I am trying so hard to trust my instincts and stand by the things that I still believe are true, but feel overwhelmed that my philosophies are wrong and are going to somehow hurt Sam.
Case in point:
Crying - I have always believed and still believe that it doesn't hurt him to cry, however all the "right" people say that at this age I am keeping him from building attachment and feeling safe. So what do I do?
Naps and Waketime - I put him down after feeding him, having some playtime and he wakes right back up. So I lay him on his play mat while I finish doing whatever needs to be done, sending an email, getting ready, cleaning etc. Now I have a couple things weighing on me.
First, he's not following the Babywise "infant management plan" (that we have great testimonies to working) that says it will help him sleep through the night and be a pleasant and happy kid. Yet in reality he is a month old and will consistently sleep around 5 1/2 hrs at a time at night. That seems good to me. So again what do I do?
Second, when he is awake, I have the voice in the back of my head saying that I should be interacting with him because he is awake. I need to be talking to him, reading to him, singing to him or playing with him, but as mentioned above, he doesn't always nap consistently, so if I hope to get things done around the house I may have to do them while he is awake. Again the right people make me feel as if he is not going to develop language skills if it is quiet in the house or I fail to interact with him enough. So I wonder is the fact that I have music on in the back ground good enough or do I need to do more?
So here I am wanting to be a good mom and get it all right, but everyday I am battling the 2 angels (my instincts and "the experts") on my shoulders, so to speak, fighting over what I "should" be doing. I haven't entirely decided which side is winning or will win, but this is where I am at today in this journey of parenting.
Hunting Unique Rabbits
Gayle
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Practically Perfect in Every Way ...
Gayle and I have always been suckers for musicals and this musical inspired post is brought to you by none other then Mary Poppins, "Practically Perfect in Every Way."
We have been noticing a pattern with the little Samster (current attempt at a pet name, among others)... lots and I do mean lots of people keep on using this phrase, "well He's just perfect," in that cute high pitched voice that all humans use when talking to babies or puppies. Although we realize that this is meant as a compliment and we appreciate everyone's affection for our sweet boy, we are also finding that if he is indeed practically perfect, there are times that perfection looks kinda funny and creates some very interesting and unintended side effects.
1) Perfection is a very difficult standard to live up to. For instance, the pressure of raising a perfect kid puts a lot of pressure on not so perfect parents. As Gayle has begun this journey of motherhood blessed with a perfectionist bent anyway, she finds it difficult not to place high expectations of perfection on herself and Sam at times. If Sam doesn't sleep when he's "supposed to" or eat like he is "supposed to" then somehow one or both of them is failing. With that she has found herself having to fight against the tendency to be too hard on herself, reminding herself multiple times a day that she is not "practically perfect" and that Sam, although wonderful and cute will eventually have his "practically perfect" status tainted as well. So I feel like if you truly engage the process of parenting you come to realize that perfection is NOT you. So many times I have heard about Child Development, why doesn't anyone talk about Parent Development?
2) Perfection is never going to happen this side of heaven. Myself, Gayle, and yes practically perfect Sam are flawed. We are humans; flawed humans attempting to raise another human. I don't think perfection is going to come out of two imperfect people. Not to mention that we all have needs. Let's take the less ethereal needs (like Maslow's "self-actualization") and focus on the basics. Sleep for instance has become a precious commodity. As we have come to appreciate sleep more than ever, I have begun to realize the idea that working together with Gayle is more important then ever. Creating schedules that consider not just me but all three of our basic needs to sleep is critical to the happiness of our home. It has been a struggle, but a good struggle to realize that I have to offer up meeting my needs (which I have come to realize are really wants) so that we, the family, can have all our needs met. Maybe God is using this situation to allow me to give of myself in ways I never thought I could.
3) Perfection cries a lot. Where as Gayle and I can communicate verbally, Sam only cries. There is no differentiation between dirty diaper, hungry, sleepy, overstimulated, bored, lonely, or anything else he maybe wanting. There are differences in the cry that can be decoded by the extremely trained ear, most of which the mother unit is better at detecting, but it still never changes mode ... cry. God is teaching me patience and determination by sometimes having to try what feels like hundreds of things to comfort him.
4) Perfection digs up a lot of personal stuff. I don't know what it is about having children but, all of those insecurities that I thought I had dealt with all the way back in high school or college seem to have reappeared fresh. I had a supervisor say that she thought that she was a pretty selfless person until she had a kid. I am beginning to think I was a pretty well balanced person until I had a kid. Let me stop here, it is not that the child is the one who is making me lose my sense of balance, selflessness, sanity or sleep for that matter, the child is merely God's grace by which he shows me that I did not have it as "together" as I thought. This is a great lesson in humility.
So, maybe The Perfect is using three imperfect people to teach each other about what perfect is ... and what it is not. When I think I have to be a perfect parent it is really just my impatience rearing it head. I don't have to do everything perfect right now. Gayle and I have 18 years worth of practice, trial and error, and more then likely daily mistakes along the way. After all, it is our mistakes and successes that make this journey unique to us. I hope you have gotten a word of encouragement as we like you are Finding Unique Rabbits.
Finding a few Unique Rabbits,
Ethan and Gayle
1) Perfection is a very difficult standard to live up to. For instance, the pressure of raising a perfect kid puts a lot of pressure on not so perfect parents. As Gayle has begun this journey of motherhood blessed with a perfectionist bent anyway, she finds it difficult not to place high expectations of perfection on herself and Sam at times. If Sam doesn't sleep when he's "supposed to" or eat like he is "supposed to" then somehow one or both of them is failing. With that she has found herself having to fight against the tendency to be too hard on herself, reminding herself multiple times a day that she is not "practically perfect" and that Sam, although wonderful and cute will eventually have his "practically perfect" status tainted as well. So I feel like if you truly engage the process of parenting you come to realize that perfection is NOT you. So many times I have heard about Child Development, why doesn't anyone talk about Parent Development?
2) Perfection is never going to happen this side of heaven. Myself, Gayle, and yes practically perfect Sam are flawed. We are humans; flawed humans attempting to raise another human. I don't think perfection is going to come out of two imperfect people. Not to mention that we all have needs. Let's take the less ethereal needs (like Maslow's "self-actualization") and focus on the basics. Sleep for instance has become a precious commodity. As we have come to appreciate sleep more than ever, I have begun to realize the idea that working together with Gayle is more important then ever. Creating schedules that consider not just me but all three of our basic needs to sleep is critical to the happiness of our home. It has been a struggle, but a good struggle to realize that I have to offer up meeting my needs (which I have come to realize are really wants) so that we, the family, can have all our needs met. Maybe God is using this situation to allow me to give of myself in ways I never thought I could.
3) Perfection cries a lot. Where as Gayle and I can communicate verbally, Sam only cries. There is no differentiation between dirty diaper, hungry, sleepy, overstimulated, bored, lonely, or anything else he maybe wanting. There are differences in the cry that can be decoded by the extremely trained ear, most of which the mother unit is better at detecting, but it still never changes mode ... cry. God is teaching me patience and determination by sometimes having to try what feels like hundreds of things to comfort him.
4) Perfection digs up a lot of personal stuff. I don't know what it is about having children but, all of those insecurities that I thought I had dealt with all the way back in high school or college seem to have reappeared fresh. I had a supervisor say that she thought that she was a pretty selfless person until she had a kid. I am beginning to think I was a pretty well balanced person until I had a kid. Let me stop here, it is not that the child is the one who is making me lose my sense of balance, selflessness, sanity or sleep for that matter, the child is merely God's grace by which he shows me that I did not have it as "together" as I thought. This is a great lesson in humility.
So, maybe The Perfect is using three imperfect people to teach each other about what perfect is ... and what it is not. When I think I have to be a perfect parent it is really just my impatience rearing it head. I don't have to do everything perfect right now. Gayle and I have 18 years worth of practice, trial and error, and more then likely daily mistakes along the way. After all, it is our mistakes and successes that make this journey unique to us. I hope you have gotten a word of encouragement as we like you are Finding Unique Rabbits.
Finding a few Unique Rabbits,
Ethan and Gayle
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Welcome to Unique Up On It
Hello and welcome to Unique Up On It. A place for the us to share photos, stories, and updates about our family. Now as for the name ... We in the Davis household have a running joke that is part of our culture. If you don't know it here it is, although it will not be as funny due to the fact you already know the punchline.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique Up On It.
Although it is a punny joke, the meaning goes one step deeper:
As of December 22nd, 2010, Gayle and I became parents and life has been forever changed. At 10:33am Samuel Zechariah Davis was born. Sam weighed 10lbs. 12oz. and was 22 inches long. As is part of the territory with all newborns, the next 72 hours are filled with learning skills that will last a lifetime. Frequent feeding, naps, visits from all sorts of doctors, nurses, and Sam's favorite health care provider, the lactation consultant.
Our stay at the hospital included many different consultants with many many different opinions. With all these theories for what works; anxiety, stress and lack of sleep were catching up with us. We also found out that Sam was losing more weight then the doctors would like, roughly 11% of his birth weight. Amongst all the opinions, stress, and whirl of emotions there was a voice of reason in our last consultant, Lindy. This wonderful lady told us a little bit of her story. She had not started as an RN, rather as a mom of five boys who struggled to breastfeed. Her message was clear and simple:
Your situation is unique and you need to do what you have to do to take care of this kiddo.
After a few consultants who we're sure unintentionally made us feel like if we didn't get this right we were going to deny Sam what was "best" for him, Lindy provided us with a moment of relief reminding us that as Sam's parents we were the only ones who could determine what "best" was for him.
This is just a glimpse of how life is beginning to "nique up on" us, but we invite you to join our journey and share those moments when life has "niqued up on" you as well. We know Sam is a gift from God and we hope that what we learn along the way might give you opportunity to smile, find understanding from another family learning as they go or just give you a chance to Ooh and Aah over the cutest kid around. :)
On the hunt for unique rabbits!
Ethan and Gayle
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique Up On It.
Although it is a punny joke, the meaning goes one step deeper:
As of December 22nd, 2010, Gayle and I became parents and life has been forever changed. At 10:33am Samuel Zechariah Davis was born. Sam weighed 10lbs. 12oz. and was 22 inches long. As is part of the territory with all newborns, the next 72 hours are filled with learning skills that will last a lifetime. Frequent feeding, naps, visits from all sorts of doctors, nurses, and Sam's favorite health care provider, the lactation consultant.
Our stay at the hospital included many different consultants with many many different opinions. With all these theories for what works; anxiety, stress and lack of sleep were catching up with us. We also found out that Sam was losing more weight then the doctors would like, roughly 11% of his birth weight. Amongst all the opinions, stress, and whirl of emotions there was a voice of reason in our last consultant, Lindy. This wonderful lady told us a little bit of her story. She had not started as an RN, rather as a mom of five boys who struggled to breastfeed. Her message was clear and simple:
Your situation is unique and you need to do what you have to do to take care of this kiddo.
After a few consultants who we're sure unintentionally made us feel like if we didn't get this right we were going to deny Sam what was "best" for him, Lindy provided us with a moment of relief reminding us that as Sam's parents we were the only ones who could determine what "best" was for him.
This is just a glimpse of how life is beginning to "nique up on" us, but we invite you to join our journey and share those moments when life has "niqued up on" you as well. We know Sam is a gift from God and we hope that what we learn along the way might give you opportunity to smile, find understanding from another family learning as they go or just give you a chance to Ooh and Aah over the cutest kid around. :)
On the hunt for unique rabbits!
Ethan and Gayle
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